Romantic Pickup Lines

Guys, I want to talk about guys pickup lines and how you can tell if she likes you. This is important, because I’ve seen so many guys mess this up, it’s crazy. My brother used to do this all the time. He’d go out with his friends to the bar and try and pick up girls as if they were flowers or something. You’ve got to remember first and foremost, that yeah, we’re different to you, but we’re still human beings. I have to say that, because most guys think we’re like from Mars or something. I know that guy wrote that book that says we’re from Venus, and so already, most guys get that part wrong.

But honestly, great pickup lines treat us as if we’re still human not some sort of Martian. So seriously, think about that before you say something really corny like “Are you’re parents from Iraq?” and after I roll my eyes “Because you’re the bomb.” That’s not even funny, not with the war and people getting hurt. So don’t try and be funny and like all improv. Save that for the comedy club. Seriously.

By the way, that was one of the cheesy pick up lines my brother tried on a girl before he got serious about wanting a girlfriend. It didn’t work for him. She turned away and started to talk to her girlfriends and giggling about him. That was the last time he was such an idiot. That’s when I did an intervention and got him to really understand how guys pickup lines generally suck, and that romantic pickup lines are sweet pickup lines are much better.

But before I actually talk about real pickup lines and the things to say to women, I want to talk about the package first. You know, girls also care what a guy looks like. Now you don’t have to be the biggest heart throb like Jared Leto or something like that, but you have to show us that you care about what you look like.

So generally, we don’t care if you work in construction or the oilfields so long as you take care of yourself. And this means don’t come out to the bar and use guys pickup lines on us if you’re still in your grungy work clothes. This is not going to work. We don’t want to smell you unless we can smell a nice cologne. We don’t want to see your stained pants and caked with mud work boots. And we definitely don’t want to see black gunk under your fingernails. Even if you had the best romantic pickup lines in the world, your first impression is very important.

So don’t use guys pickup lines on us if you haven’t showered and cleaned up. That’s like a slap in the face. And don’t forget to be happy, because we can sniff insincerity a mile off. If you’re not happy find some happiness first before using romantic pickup lines for us. If you seem happy and like you’re enjoying what you’re doing, then we’ll find you interesting and we’ll forgive you guys pickup lines that are cheesy and stupid.